I had a love for the Lord instilled in me since before my 7th grade year.  I was saved at 6 years old, and I knew then that God loved me because of what He did for me on the Cross just to save me.  My 7th grade year was the first time I had a conscious memory of anything regarding my love for the Lord or my serving Him.  I remember being so excited to attend my first Youth Conference and thinking that Youth Conference was where a Christian surrendered his life to the Lord.  ☺  I know now that there isn’t a magical spot, time, or age to surrender one’s life to the Lord.

Throughout my junior high and high school years, I experienced some mind boggling and even heart breaking events in my life.  However, I didn’t think that these events affected me as much as the assessment of the situation would have merited.  It wasn’t until after college that I looked back and saw how each of those events affected me when I started to face life’s big decisions.  I also started to see how God protected me from being more adversely affected than I “should have” been.  

During college, I did have moments when I felt like a lost, little girl and felt confused as to why I was facing a “brick wall” when others seemed to have things laid out and prepared for them.  Yet, I had a strong enough faith in God that He would show me and teach me when I was ready for what would come next in my life.  Although I don’t think I compared myself to other girls frequently, I definitely was aware that I was facing challenges and wondered how others got through them.

As a college student, two teachers became my mentors.  These teachers are very opposite in their personalities, but definitely one-minded in Christ when it came to counsel and advice.  During my moments of “despair,” one teacher would open her office, let me sit on her tiny sofa, and let me talk.  She was a good listener, but she was also a wise counselor and encourager.  She let me know frequently that I was beautiful, normal, and talented.  She occasionally pointed out areas of improvement, encouraged me to dress sharply, and showed me how to maintain my weight, as well as other tips.  She was primarily my encourager and cheerleader when pointing out my strengths and areas in which I excelled.

On the other hand, my second mentor did not sugarcoat anything for me.  I would pose a question or scenario to her, and she would give me a straight-up, honest answer.  She gave me Biblical answers, but she didn’t always “shoot” the verse at me; she would ask me the most practical, blunt questions regarding my question or scenario or thought process that caused me to focus on Biblical principles.  She was pretty much no-nonsense and did not necessarily cater to my feelings. ☺ She had a tight schedule to keep with several responsibilities, so she couldn’t talk long, except on occasion.  She helped me to think practically as well as Biblically in everything I did.  I used to think a lot about how I “felt” as opposed to what was right.  I soon learned how to gauge whether I was focused on what I felt was right or on what God thought … and whether or not I needed an “adjustment” in my thinking to align it to Christ’s thinking.

These teachers taught me to know when to be an encourager or a mentor when helping the young ladies who have crossed my path in my classroom or my office.  I try to gauge whether these young ladies need a pat on the back or an adjustment in their spiritual thinking and discernment.  Here are a few thoughts to young ladies in college or on their way to college and to those helping these ladies prepare and go through college.  

1. Allow yourself to learn at your pace but still keep up.  (You do have to pass your classes.☺) Ecclesiastes 7:12 says, “For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence: but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it.”  Everyone has an expectation for every situation or relationship faced.  Teachers have material for you to learn.  Bosses have time frames for work to be done.  Friends have places for you to be and an emotional connection to make.  Yet educational, spiritual, and practical applications can unfold in an unscheduled time frame.  People do not always learn things right away or understand the application of the teaching until they actually need what they have learned later on in life.  

When arriving at college, every college student is at a different level of knowledge, education, and experience as well as exposure to different life lessons.  Some have been tried through God’s purifying fires, others have been gently nurtured and protected from the harsh elements of life, and others have been newly exposed to Christianity or the practical application of Christianity.  There are also learning disabilities, such as dyslexia, that hinders one from being as academically inclined as others.  Dyslexia can be helped and conquered, but it is still a very real educational hindrance.  One cannot judge his progress, skills, or abilities by someone else’s progress, skills, or abilities.  He can simply gauge where he should be, work hard to keep up, then realize he is designed by God Who is ultimately the One he should seek to obey,  impress,  please, and ultimately glorify.

1. When you make a mistake, get back up.  Your mistakes do not define you; whether or not you get back up defines you.  Proverbs 24:16 ~ “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.”  God’s definition of a “just” man is not one who is perfect and makes no mistakes, but rather one who doesn’t quit.  He gets back up and continues in the race God has set before him.  Everyone is learning life.  For example, when a child is learning to write, he starts by using a pencil to correct his mistakes.  Then after he becomes more experienced and practiced, he writes everything with a pen.  Later, as he learns keyboarding and computer skills, he can even bypass handwriting and use a word processing program to type, correct, rewrite, and compose letters, articles, documents, and other forms of communication.  

In life, some mistakes are more visible, obvious, and permanent; other mistakes are small, unseen, and easily corrected.  Some mistakes are building blocks in the learning process, and other mistakes or failures are permanent in the molding and shaping of one’s life.  Just as one will always use his handwriting skills in its various forms and with various instruments, he will always use what he has learned (the good and the bad) over and over again in life.  God placed hundreds of examples in the Bible of people who made simple mistakes and some who made life-altering mistakes.  Yet God still used those people to do great and mighty things.  So learn to get up, dust yourself off, and continue going forward.

1. Allow yourself to learn and know the love of Christ.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  My parents did a great job of making sure I was in church, keeping me in a Christian school, sacrificing for me to do so, and exposing me to many different Christian people from whom I could learn.  However, there came a time when I had to personally learn and experience what it meant to know that God loved me and what it meant to love with God’s love.  God is not there to bop one on the head when he makes a mistake; that is what the devil does.  

By continually reading the Bible, you will see for yourself the many nuggets of truth from God’s Word that tells you what it means to be loved by God.  As you apply those truths, you begin to experience for yourself the love God is bestowing upon you.  A mother or father’s love cannot compare to God’s love; a mentor or teacher’s love cannot compare to God’s love; a boyfriend or husband’s love cannot compare to God’s love; a friend’s love cannot compare to God’s love.  Mankind’s love is flawed, even if patterned after God’s love.  While we try to love like God loves, we fall short.  As a result, it is easy to see and experience the effects of those times when mankind’s love is flawed.  We cannot rely on our parents, family, friends, and mentors to fully and completely love us, even though we definitely want and need our human relationships.  Learn and know that God loves you and everything about you: the good, the bad, and the ugly!  ;)

1. Allow yourself to feel valued and valuable.  Psalm 139:14 says, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”  Allow God to use the Psalms over and over to assure you of your value to Him.  Psalm 139 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible.  My Christian Ladies’ Attitude and Appearance teacher used this chapter while I was in college. At the beginning of each class period, she had her students read through Psalm 139.  We were tested over it throughout the semester and memorized the entire chapter.  God used that class and that chapter to help me face the many insecurities that I had accumulated.  God stripped away my fears of incompetency and taught me that He has given me all the gifts and talents I needed to accomplish what He had for me to do.  Applying those gifts and talents required hard work and discipline, but I didn’t have to compete with anyone.  I could always improve, but I was enough for God.

Don’t devalue someone who is “farther behind” in their Christianity than another.  As referenced in the first point, each of us has our own journey.  I remember when I was going into college, my brother, three years older than I, teased me a few times because I didn’t know my Social Security number by heart.  But my feisty little self fired back that he was obviously older than I and that he had to learn his SS# when he was my age.  Likewise, a new Christian will not always have learned the same lessons and had the same experiences as a veteran Christian has, but a veteran Christian has been where a new Christian has been.  As one learns what God is teaching him, move forward, but turn back to help the one coming behind.

Each of us is on a journey.  Education is important in learning the skills, truths, and concepts of a given topic, but scholastic education is not needed to be successful in life.  Learning how to LIVE successfully for Christ is the most important education to receive.  Learn at your own pace, but be responsible; get back up when you make a mistake; learn, know, and experience the love of Christ; and know that you are valued and valuable.  You are enough for God. ☺