Don't Give Up! - Becky Lyons
My name is Becky (Duckett) Lyons.
I’m a middle child of 3, I have natural curly hair, and a stubborn streak about 1/2 a mile wide...or maybe a mile...🤷🏻♀️Lol!
I love, Love, LOVE music...Especially good church music! I was raised in a Music director’s home, where there was always something musical going on, whether it was practicing the piano, or violin or listening to my siblings or parents practice the piano, listening to cassettes or CD’s, going to choir or orchestra practice, singing group practices, or just singing in the car as a family...always something music. I’ve been blessed to have that love of music instilled in me...because good music, meaningful God pleasing music has helped me through some very tough times in my life. It’s a blessing to be able to have a song in your heart in a hard time also knowing ,that someone who wrote that song ,went through hard times as well and God gave them the ability to help others in their time of struggle, by giving them a song.
Growing up in a Christian home, I was always in church, in Christian school, and in a church atmosphere, going to preaching conferences, church camp, Teen Convention, church teen activities, and going to Bible college...all the usual stuff...
I met my husband when I was 25 and we got married when I was 26.
July 22nd we will celebrate our 16th Anniversary. (side note: if you’re not married yet and you are getting “older”you think, don’t get impatient with God the right one is out there and he is worth the wait!!! Don’t settle!)
We have 2 beautiful kids, Timothy Scott (14) and Peyton Hope (10). We also have an angel baby who would have been born before Timothy. ♥️
Ever since I can remember the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to be is a Mom. I would always see my mom taking care of us and doing things around the house or anything else that she would do and I would always think...I want to be just like her! She’s always been so good at what she does... I’m privileged to be able to say that God has fulfilled that desire in my life and I’m so grateful.
About 3 1/2 years ago God started working in mine and my husband’s lives...mind you in almost 16 years of marriage we’ve had many struggles as I’m sure everyone does, but I didn’t really understand what God was doing...My husband lost his job and we were without income for several months. He would apply at places and they’d say he was over qualified or we wouldn’t hear back... (applying for jobs online is ridiculous, by the way) anyway, Scott was calling around trying to talk to anyone he could about getting a job, and he called one number that ended up being a wrong number, but it was not a wrong number...because we look back now and see that God had a plan...it was the number to a trucking company. They gave Scott an offer to pay for his truck driving school and in return he would have to drive for them for 1 full year...
That may not seem like much, but when I say 1 year, that means 3-4 weeks on the road, away from your family and 1 day home per week you are gone...which REALLY stinks, because that means we see each other 3-4 days a month.
It was the door that God had opened so we took it...it wasn’t what we wanted ,but it was work, and income.
The first 5 weeks were extremely tough. (That was the school time...we had never been apart for that long, since being married.) One of the hardest things was the fact that we were criticized by people for the decision that we had made, my husband especially, for the decision to be away from his family...but people made those judgments not knowing circumstances behind the scenes and before a lot of people knew about Scott’s new job situation (we didn’t broadcast our personal stuff), I had curious people coming to ask if we were getting divorced... 🤯 we don’t hold this against anyone...I’m sure they were concerned...I did ,however, have a small handful of people who were so encouraging and uplifting in that time when I needed it most...and I’m so grateful for them. We came to the conclusion as a couple that we had to make the best decision for our family that we could, regardless of what anyone else thought...but to be honest, I thought God had left us...and for a long time after that I still felt lost and alone, like God was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t only because of Scott being away for so long but because of some things going on behind the scenes, the criticism, financial things and other areas as well...God was working on us... on me...!
For probably the first 7 months I struggled so much with feeling so alone, that I would just cry at the drop of a hat...it is very hard to describe that feeling of being alone...it was excruciating, felt like a deep dark hole...I was pretty much living in a depression or something like that...I didn’t understand, but God was working.
Summertime came and our son Timothy was old enough to go to church camp for the first time...(you had to be 6th grade) the camp our church was going to be traveling to was out of state, so I wasn’t going to just let him go alone...so I went too...!
Lol! (First time I had been to church camp since I was a teenager and I as in my 30’s) 🤣
At this point I was also feeling like our family was being torn in so many different directions, and I felt like I just had no control over anything, because my husband was out of state for weeks, my son and I were headed out of state to camp and my daughter was going to be staying with my sister and her family while I was gone...maybe to some that sounds like nothing to be upset over, but in my life and situation it was tearing me up that we were just everywhere and not all together...but God was working.
We got to camp and did all the camp things...getting settled, preaching, singing, activities, eating, more preaching and singing, and more activities... while at camp we were separated out into 3 teams... and for whatever reason I ended up on a team with very few of the people I knew...which because of the circumstances in my life made me feel even more alone... again, God was working. Night after night of preaching and singing (keeping in mind I grew up in a Music director’s home and I loved to sing etc...) I did not, however, enjoy one of the speakers that was preaching...and I’m not usually that way...and I couldn’t figure out why I felt that way. Thursday night during the preaching service, I can’t exactly tell you what the message was about, but that preacher (that I didn’t really like) said something that struck a cord with me...he said what if tomorrow on your way home you were in an accident and you never made it home...he told a story to that effect, (I had driven my car to the camp, so I would also be driving back home) that rang in my thoughts for the rest of the service and that evening...I had experienced doubt in my salvation before, but this was different...you know, growing up in church and always being under the preaching of God’s word your whole life, it’s almost hard to see your true need for God’s forgiveness and your true need for salvation from your sins because you’ve never experienced a “life in sin”...I had prayed the sinner’s prayer before on several occasions and claimed that I had been saved before, and always looked back at a certain date for my salvation, but never really stopped doubting it.
I went to bed that Thursday night pretty much knowing that I wasn’t saved. I sent a text to my Pastor the next morning, asking him if we could talk...we met out in the parking lot and I told him that I thought there was something wrong with my salvation and then explained everything to him...
He asked me if I was understanding what I was reading in the Bible and I told him that I wasn’t really sure...I would struggle to get things from my Bible reading...he showed me several verses and then explained to me that if I was not able to understand what I was reading in God’s word, it could possibly be because I wasn’t a child of God...🤯 (this was only part of our discussion) at the conclusion of our talk, my Pastor suggested that I get alone with God and take care of it!
I agreed! I was so unsure of everything in my life at that point...I got in my car and drove over to a small wooded area at the camp and sat in the driver’s seat for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do...I had prayed so many times about my current situation and shed so many tears and never really felt like it went any higher than the ceiling... so as I sat there, I bowed my head and trusted Christ to save me!
I wish I could say ,that I came away feeling 100% better, but I can’t because there was so much upheaval in my life ,that I was still focused on, and so much that I was still unsure of.
I went back to my Pastor to let him know that I had gotten saved and how I was still feeling unsure of everything, he suggested that I tell my sister Amy, who had come for the last days camp awards etc., I couldn’t get up my nerve... so I kept it to myself for a while just pondering my decision. After a week or so when we had come back home from camp, my husband came home for his home time, and I struggled with the nerve to tell him that I had gotten saved, but I did it...and he was super excited for me. He had not realized that I had struggled with this for some time. To make a long story short, I struggled with telling my family and my church family for about a month or so, just because I was afraid of what people would say, since I have grown up in my church, so my husband went with me to walk the aisle and get baptized and that’s how everyone else found out. Lol!
My Pastor helped tell my story as I was getting baptized.
All that to say...God didn’t give up on me...he chased me, I took “one step in His direction and He ran to me!”
I came to realize ,that God had to take everything and I mean EVERYTHING away from me (husband, family, financial security, friends...etc...)
EVERYTHING away from me for me to realize that the ONLY thing that I really needed was HIM! So when I say that He chased me, I really feel like that is what He did. God gave me so many chances...and I didn’t even realize that’s what he was doing, because I was living “the Christian life” doing all the things I had been trained to do, being in my place, doing all the stuff that “Christians” do, but I was missing the most important thing...HIM!
I feel like this might have been my last chance, because only a few weeks after we got back home from camp, we heard that the Preacher that had preached at camp (the one I didn’t like)
had passed away...when I heard that news it really hit me, if I hadn’t listened...that might have been my last opportunity. God has been merciful to me, a wretched sinner, and I’m so thankful! Psalm 107:1
My husband has been long distance truck driving now for 3 years ,and I can’t say that things have gotten much easier yet...it still stinks that we only see him 3-4 days out of a month, and we are all sooooo ready for him to be able to come home, but God is still working in our lives and he has worked a miracle to get us into a beautiful home this past November 2020...and we are currently still praying for God to open the door He wants for Scott to have a job ,that will get him home to us every night or even every week. Ecclesiastes 3:11 , Psalm 69:13
There are several other milestones and answers to prayer that God has completely worked out in our lives, but since they’re kind of private things I will just leave it at that.
Don’t give up on God even when you don’t understand His plan and can’t see what He’s doing...He’s working HIS plan...It may not be your plan, but trust God...His plan is best! I still have down days and days where I can’t help but cry, and I still don’t understand God’s timing and plan sometimes,but at least now I have someone to cry to...my Heavenly Father ,who cares about me and never leaves me alone. He will come through for me! And you too!!! Hebrews 11:1
Romans 8:28 ,Proverbs 3:5-6
I’m not the best at it, but I am learning more and more to trust God and run to Him and trust that HE knows what is best for me and that He wants what is best for me...I’m learning to depend on God more these days and to take my worries and troubles to Him, because HE is the only one who can do anything about it and HE is in control!
Psalm 55:22, Psalm 60:11,
Psalm 119:105
Hope this was helpful!