Isn't Being Married SOOOOO Good! - Amy Sapp
Sometimes when you get marriage advice you will get cute quotes or one liners, but no steps that truly work!
I am not a pro… but I have been married for almost 24 years! And I have learned many things over the years. By God’s Grace we are still together and more in love than ever! Chad Sapp is the one whom my soul loveth more than any other human being!
Here are some tips to keep a healthy happy marriage!
Budget..
Work together to create a budget. When you don’t know what you are spending it can get out of control fast. Look at your budget from time to time and adjust as needed. Talk about it and make spending decisions together! (Money is one of the biggest reasons for marriage problems.) Keep your checkbook balanced!
Priorities…
Matt 6:33 “But seek ye first the kindom of God, and his righteousness, and all of these things shall be added unto you.”
It is super important to put God first in your marriage, then each other NEXT. Your family and job take 3rd and 4th place. When God comes first, it is easy to put your spouse 2nd! If God is not first the family will be out of sync causing strife within the family. Many times the husband puts his job first, and the wife tends to put their children first. This will not work out in the end, because both can become an idol. This can totally cause your marriage to drift apart.
Communicate…
Talk to each other everyday! Make time outside of your kids to just talk to each other. If you don’t know what is going on with each other you will lose the emotional connection. Many times this is how misunderstandings happen, feelings get hurt, and resentment can start. If your schedule is too crazy to spend time with each other, then something needs to go. You may have too many activities going on. Be home most evenings. Spend time together as a family, then put your kids to bed and TALK to your spouse!
Prayer..
Isaiah 55:11 “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void; but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereunto I sent it.”
This will be the single biggest thing that will CHANGE your marriage. When you pray for your husband, things will change. Run to God and tell Him your issues instead of telling others! Add his name to Scripture and pray for the things that bother you. The Lord may change the “things” but more than likely He will end up changing YOU too! Be willing to let God work on you… Ask Him to convict you and reveal bad behaviors to you. And make sure you pray TOGETHER, daily if possible.
Encouragement..
Encourage your spouse in every way possible! Your job is to be his biggest cheerleader on the planet! Attempt to say 2-3 positive things to your spouse everyday! When it is time to criticize BITE your tongue! This will make a huge difference in how you think of each other! It is kind of hard to think bac of someone that you believe is a SUPER HERO. A critical spirit is destructive. Yelling, criticism, sarcasm, tantrums, silent treatment, or whatever YOUR tactic is… Stop NOW. Before it is too late.
Unified Front…
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.”
There are times when you and your spouse may not agree on things. Parenting style is a big one of these things. It is important to stay on the same page! If your kids see you not united, they will use it to their advantage to get their own way. Are you stuck? ALWAYS lean towards the highter standard on parenting.
DATE.. DATE.. DATE,,
Keep dating. Sometimes, after being married for a bit, it is super easy to get lazy and take each other for granted. Dress up. Put some effort into the evening. Keep up the romance! Stay connected. Do not let $ be an excuse. There are plenty of things to do together that do not cost a ton of money or that are even free.
(I am going to leave this point blank) If you ever hear me speak at a conference on this topic I will share this point in brief detail.
Fun..
Life is HARD. Find a hobby, activity, or sport.. You can do as a couple. This will naturally give you something to talk about. It will also create great memories / remember when’s! It will help you bond. You both need to like the activity or it kind of defeats the purpose, if one party is dragging the other party to do the activity, this is not considered FUN!
Forgiveness..
Forgiveness covers a multitude of sins. It is the ingredient for living closely to someone. If you don’t forgive easily, you won’t have a strong marriage. Resolve issues, then TRULY let it go. Don’t bring it up again, unless it is a serious pattern that is unresolved that could cause great harm. Holding grudges and self pity lead down a dark hold. Take ownership of your own faults and deal with them.
Colossians 3:13 “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
Let’s be the wife that God made us to be!!!