At our teen cap this summer, someone sang a song called “Different”. It is basically asking God to make the song-writer different so he can do something special for the Lord with his life. That song really touched me and I started to think about all the times in my life when I prayed that God would change the circumstances in my life instead of asking Him to change me.

Since around 2005, I have had Crohn’s disease. I was finally diagnosed in 2007 after an extensive hospital stay, testing and surgery. The next 10 years were filled with pain, symptoms, doctor visits, procedures, tests, medication changes, monthly infusions, and prayer asking God to change my circumstances.

Then in 2017, the doctors ordered a new test to be done. When I arrived at the hospital, that new test was unavailable and so a different scan was performed on me. Upon review of the results, a doctor analyzed the status of my Crohn’s, but noticed something strange in a different area and he notified my gastroenterologist.

At my follow-up appointment, I was told I was being referred for a new test and to a gynecologist because of something abnormal seen on my scan. After several appointments and procedures, I was told I had uterine cancer. I remember that day well. It was scary and I felt like I had no control of anything. The doctors planned to do surgery to try and remove the cancer and test the lymph nodes surrounding the area for any spread of the cancer and then formulate a plan for treatment after that.

We waited two months for the surgery and we spent that time in prayer asking for God to heal me… to change the circumstances I was in.

The surgery was completely successful and they were able to remove the cancer and found no evidence that it had spread to any other areas in my body. They said I was very “lucky” it was caught so early since this type of cancer would have spread quickly and once I started exhibiting symptoms, it would have been too late to do anything for me. I assured them it had nothing to do with luck!

Because I had been scanned for my Crohn’s, the doctors were able to see the very beginnings of a cancerous growth, which would not otherwise have been detected until I started having symptoms… too late to do anything about it.

About a year later, I was thinking back on the circumstances surrounding my medical journey and I realized that I was thankful to God that he allowed me to have Crohn’s. Yes! Thankful! If it weren’t for the Crohn’s Disease, they wouldn’t have caught my cancer so early!

So many times we ask God to remove a pain, an illness, a disease. But what if God wants us to go through it so He can get glory in the end. In John chapter 9, Jesus responds to His disciples that a man had been born blind “that the works of God should be made manifest in him” (verse 3).

I don’t want God to change my circumstances, I want him to change me… to make me different so He can be glorified by what He does with my life. I pray He uses my life in a special way. Now, going through everything I’ve gone through, I can minister to those who will go through the same thing. And I give all the glory to God!