Bees have a (mostly) good reputation—they work really hard, ensure our veggies and flowers reproduce, and honey bees provide tasty honey. Women are also known for (mostly) being hard workers, ensuring future generations, and we can provide a certain level of sweetness to our homes. However, just like a bee can sting and cause pain, so can we ladies if we do things we shouldn’t.

Colossians 3:17

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

Whatever we are doing, we are to be doing it as to the Lord. How much of our day is spent on things we either do half-heartedly, or that we shouldn’t be doing at all?

Luke 2:49

And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?

As wives, mothers, daughters, we all have business God called us to do. Our days should be built around this work for the Lord, not what WE want to do with our time. Oh, we could make a list a mile long of things we WANT to do, but are we busy as bees about the wrong things? 

There are many verses that give examples of women’s roles, but I want to point out the passage in Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Aged women: old, having lived long, having lived almost the usual time allotted to that species of being; having a certain age, having lived, as, a man aged forty years.

In short, “aged” simply means you have some years under your belt. No matter how young you are or how young you feel, time marches quickly, and before you know it, you will be older than you can wrap your mind around. How do we become women who are busy doing the things that God listed for us? We start by doing these things one day at a time. Before long, not only we will have years of experience in these areas, but we will have been busy for years doing the Father’s business, the right things. So let’s explore this list of things we can be busy about:

behavior that becometh holiness (holiness: the state of being holy; purity or integrity of moral character, freedom from sin, sanctity) Basically, this means we are to be like Christ. First, it is impossible to be like Christ if we are not one of His. Someone could try and try to be a part of my family, but their efforts would be futile unless my husband and I adopted them. The same holds true for God’s family. Someone could try and try to act like one of His, do and talk the ways His children do and talk, but that doesn’t mean they are His. We become part of God’s family when we trust Jesus as our Savior—when we believe that He died paying for our sin, was buried, and rose again to conquer death and sin. It is only when we’ve trusted Christ and have the help of the Holy Spirit that we can begin our long journey of becoming more like Him (sanctification). However, sadly, many women spend their time trying to be like someone else: the social media influencer, the mom who has it all together, like their grandmother, etc. How much time do we spend trying to be more like Christ? Truly this is a work of Christ—we cannot do this on our own. Being truly like Christ comes when we spend time with Him and His Word, asking Him to show us the areas we are falling short, repenting of those, and asking Him to help us change to be more like Him. This is something that should keep us busy for the rest of our lives!

not false accusers (accuser: one who accuses or blames) We’d likely all admit that we shouldn’t be busy about lying! Someone who lies has a poor reputation and cannot be trusted. Most of us wouldn’t dream of lying about someone to someone else, but how many of us are guilty of accusing someone to ourselves in the privacy of our own thoughts? It’s easy to assume we know someone’s motives or thoughts toward us, but if we are honest, our assumptions and imaginations are not TRUTH. Unless someone comes out and tells us they hate our guts and don’t love us/don’t want to be our friend/are upset with us/etc., we shouldn’t be busy creating those scenarios in our heads. We need to take those thoughts captive and use our thoughts for the filter list in Philippians 4:8. Our brains are ALWAYS running! What are we busy thinking about?

not given to much wine: There are dozens of verses that speak against the use of alcohol, and I will not get into those today (if you want a list, let me know, and I’ll get you one). I dare say that most of us have the correct view of how damaging a substance it is, and we stay away from it. But I wanted to look beyond the surface of this verse, and think about WHY someone would be given to much wine—for pleasure, for escape, because of addiction, and surely dozens of more reasons. We may not be seeking out wine for these reasons, but do we seek other things? Do we make ourselves busy looking for pleasure (shopping, laziness, hobbies), for escape (social media/television/movies, daydreaming), because of addiction (nearly ANYTHING can be an addiction!)?

teachers of good things: to be a teacher, one must have a student. No matter your age, someone IS watching you, learning from you. What are you busily teaching them? That it’s ok to respond in anger when frustrated? To complain about their husbands/children or others? To waste money? To be lazy? To gossip? If we are instructed to teach good things, we should recognize that it’s possible to teach bad things instead. 

teach young women to be sober (sober: not intoxicated; not mad or insane, not wild or heated with passion; regular, calm, not under the influence of passion) In a nutshell, we can describe “sober” as being in control of one’s decisions, mind, temper, etc. When we lash out at others, we are not teaching the younger women to be sober. When we fly off the handle, we are not busy about our Father’s business—in fact, we are doing the opposite—busy about Satan’s business. Satan hates anything Christ-like, so he is pleased when we cannot control our tongues and tempers. As we age, we should have more Spirit-control, encouraging the younger women that they, too, can get victory in this area, but often times we justify our blasting responses because of how others have acted toward us. However, we are not in control of others, only ourselves. We CAN be sober, and we CAN be busy teaching younger women to do the same.

To love their husbands: As a young woman, I thought it strange that a woman would need to be instructed to love her husband. Before I was married, loving a husband seemed like the easiest thing in the world to do! However, after you’ve been married for any length of time, you come to realize the reason—sometimes, those men act in ways that make us feel unloving toward them (usually unrealized expectations). When this happens, we have to CHOOSE to love our husbands in those moments. We must be busy showing love to our husbands even when they don’t do or say what we want. Love is an action, not a feeling. Most of us married for a few years understand this, but young brides are often blindsided by this, thinking that surely they made a bad decision and their marriages are doomed. We aged women can be busy, encouraging them that all will be fine if we respond and act the way God wants us to.

To love their children: This goes along the same lines. There is a definite demonic spirit in which women no longer love their babies, even choosing to snuff out lives before they’ve breathed their first breaths, but that’s not all this verse could refer to. When our babies are on their way, NOT loving them seems so foreign. In fact, since becoming a mother, there’s not a day when I have not loved my children, yet there have been many days in which I have acted unloving toward them. There have been days when I’ve not chastened my children as I should. I let them have their fleshly way, instead of helping them gain the character of self-denial, patience, or any number of things I should’ve taught them. Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Loving our children is again, more than a feeling, but an action. Tell our children “no” is sometimes the most loving thing we can do for them. Are we busy asking for wisdom to know how we can best love our children each day?

To be discreet (discreet: prudent, wise in avoiding errors or evil, and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose; circumspect; cautious; wary; not rash) We cannot teach someone else to be discreet if we are not discreet ourselves. If we are a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants kind of person, we are not showing discretion. Wisdom to know the correct way to respond, wisdom to know when to NOT do something (even if it is inconvenient), wisdom to make a right decision, are all forms of discretion, and in order to be wise, we need the Lord’s wisdom! James 1:9  If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. If we are to be busy being discreet, we must ask the Lord to help us discern right from wrong.

Chaste (chaste: applied to persons before marriage, it signifies pure from all sexual commerce, undefiled; applied to married persons, true to the marriage bed; free from obscenity; in language, pure, genuine) In our current American culture, girls and ladies are getting the wrong advice from the world—that we must behave seductively in order to attract a man. Yes, that WILL attract a man, but he will be the wrong kind! We must teach the young ladies to behave in a way that is honoring to those around us—honoring to our brothers in Christ who should find refuge among young women who behave in a safe manor, honoring to the marriages of those around us, and most of all, honoring to our Lord and Savior. Speaking crudely or acting “like one of the boys” is not becoming for anyone professing Christ. Are we busy building strong, appropriate relationships, or are we busy trying to fit in?

keepers at home (keeper: one who has the care, custody, or superintendence of any thing) As women, we are given the role to be a caretaker of our homes. A large part of our husbands’ and children’s stress levels (and even ours) is connected to how well our houses are kept. I know that we are all busy, and it is often difficult to stay on top of every chore, but we must strive to make our homes a haven for those that live under its roof. A house need not be fancy to be clean. It is our job as mothers to teach our children to function as adults one day—much of this is in training to do chores. Don’t do everything for your children. Help them see how important their help with chores is to your family. Develop systems to keep your home running smoothly and not a pig-sty (not to say there are never seasons when this is exceeding difficult!). It is no one else’s job but ours to keep our homes. 

Good (good: having moral qualities best adapted to its design and use, virtuous, pious, religious, applied to persons and opposed to bad, vitious, wicked, evil) “Virtuous” makes me think of Proverbs 31, which also reminds me of another verse: Proverbs 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Are we busy developing good qualities in our lives, or are we content to be who we are (un-Christlike), and everyone can just take it or leave it? May we be busy seeking and being good!

obedient to their own husbands (obey: submissive to authority; yielding compliance with commands, orders, or injunctions; performing what is required, or abstaining from what is forbid.) I think we all agree that this is one of the most difficult things to be busy doing, much less to teach others to do it! Nonetheless, it is still commanded, so we must keep trying and asking God to help us. It should be noted that the verse specifies “their own husbands”. It would be wrong if we are more obedient and kinder to someone else’s husband than we are to our own. When our husbands tell us they’ve made plans for our family, do we automatically go into “lawyer mode”, explaining why his idea will not work, argumentative, etc.? There are appropriate ways to disagree with our husbands, but our default response should not be to argue and disobey his wishes. This takes a LOT of time and effort to succeed at, but it can be done!

that the word of God be not blasphemed. Ah, here is the whole reason for this passage! (Blaspheme: to speak of the Supreme Being in terms of impious irreverence, to revile or speak reproachfully of God, or the Holy Spirit) Our whole purpose to be busy doing and teaching these things is so God’s Word will not be evil spoken of. Sadly, there may be people in hell, not because we didn’t give them the Gospel—maybe we did—but because they couldn’t believe the Gospel because we had a bad testimony and gave that bad testimony to God’s Word. Why would someone want to believe on a God who hasn’t helped us be discrete, obedient to our husbands, good, keepers at home, etc.? The problem isn’t that God didn’t help us—He most certainly wanted to—the problem is that we didn’t want His help. We were busy doing too many other things rather than doing what He wanted. What a thought that someone might be in hell, unable to believe the Gospel because we failed in one of these areas! This passage isn’t something to gloss over, but to take seriously. The reputation of God’s Word is at stake!