What I learned about being bitter.

Ephesians 4:31 states, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put

away from you, with all malice:”

I believe bitterness is something that most of us will deal with multiple times in our lives. Bitterness

always begins with unforgiveness. I have learned bitterness can be like a cancer if we do not deal with

it. It will eat away at our spirit and slowly decay your joy and happiness. Bitterness has a deep root and

many fruits. Its fruits may be anger, hate, disgust, sadness, loss of joy, and many other traits. What

generally happens is, we focus on cutting back these fruits, but never get rid of the root. Over time,

these fruits grow back and are often much stronger. To pry the root of bitterness out, you must do

three things. Acknowledge that this is your sin and not somebody else’s, confess this to God and seek

forgiveness from the one whom we are bitter against. You must deal with this sin on your own.

I grew up in a divorced home and I lived with my mom. My dad lived close by but I did not live with him

full time. Growing up and in my early adult life, I realized I had many feelings about my childhood that

bothered me. Sometimes they bothered me a little and sometimes a lot!!! I had deep roots of

bitterness toward my dad for several reasons that I thought were well founded. That root of bitterness

began as a child and just kept growing. Pride entered the picture (I was never going to admit to being

bitter to anyone) and I never really spoke about it much. I chose not to address it and it simply just

festered.

As I became an adult and had my own children, I learned life can be hard, and sometimes choices have

to be made. I can honestly say, I am sure it was hard on both of my parents to end their marriage with 4

children at home. At this point in my adult life, I was happily married and my husband was a pastor in

Muskegon, Michigan. I felt I had a pretty decent relationship with my dad and did not bother to think

about my childhood. That would change if one of my sisters brought up the subject and then I would

jump on the bandwagon of “woe is me”!!!

One morning, as I was doing my devotions, the Lord broke my heart and said, “You need to deal with

your bitterness”. I sat in my chair and began to reason with the Lord. I said, “Lord, you know about my

childhood, you know it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t do anything wrong”. The Lord told me to take care of it

NOW!!! I literally began shaking and had tears streaming down my face. After asking God to forgive me

of my bitterness, I picked up the phone and called my dad. I said, “Dad, this is Kim, I need to tell you

something. I have been bitter against you for years and I am sorry, will you please forgive me”? I did

not go into detail of everything that bothered me, I simply confessed my sin towards him & asked for his

forgiveness. You see, this was MY sin, not my dad’s. I was the one who was wrong. I had allowed this

cancer to grow and fester in me. Of course he said, “I forgive you”, and we finished our conversation

and I hung up the phone. I cannot tell you the relief I felt. The ton of bricks that were pressing down

were removed from off of my back. I have had the best relationship with my dad since that phone call.

I have no more anger and hurt and I look at my childhood in a total different way. The truth is, the Lord

gave me the childhood that He wanted me to have. He knew everything that I would have to deal with

and He knew who my mom and dad were going to be, long before I discovered America. I am thankful

for that.

As I write this devotion, my dad is on his death bed. He will probably be gone before this gets shared.

Prying the root of bitterness out of my heart was one of the very best things I have ever done. I can look

back on memories with my dad, and I truly have a smile on my heart.

Dear lady friend, please search your heart and see if you have the root of bitterness. Please do not let it

stay there. You must take the action that I did and no matter how hard it is, pry out that root and get rid

of it once and for all. You do not need to rehash everything that happened to cause your bitterness, but

if you can go to that person and ask for forgiveness, then do it, do it today!!! Though it may be difficult,

you will not regret it!!

Ephesians 4:32b, …..Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.