Bitter Fruit - Kim Letson
What I learned about being bitter.
Ephesians 4:31 states, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put
away from you, with all malice:”
I believe bitterness is something that most of us will deal with multiple times in our lives. Bitterness
always begins with unforgiveness. I have learned bitterness can be like a cancer if we do not deal with
it. It will eat away at our spirit and slowly decay your joy and happiness. Bitterness has a deep root and
many fruits. Its fruits may be anger, hate, disgust, sadness, loss of joy, and many other traits. What
generally happens is, we focus on cutting back these fruits, but never get rid of the root. Over time,
these fruits grow back and are often much stronger. To pry the root of bitterness out, you must do
three things. Acknowledge that this is your sin and not somebody else’s, confess this to God and seek
forgiveness from the one whom we are bitter against. You must deal with this sin on your own.
I grew up in a divorced home and I lived with my mom. My dad lived close by but I did not live with him
full time. Growing up and in my early adult life, I realized I had many feelings about my childhood that
bothered me. Sometimes they bothered me a little and sometimes a lot!!! I had deep roots of
bitterness toward my dad for several reasons that I thought were well founded. That root of bitterness
began as a child and just kept growing. Pride entered the picture (I was never going to admit to being
bitter to anyone) and I never really spoke about it much. I chose not to address it and it simply just
festered.
As I became an adult and had my own children, I learned life can be hard, and sometimes choices have
to be made. I can honestly say, I am sure it was hard on both of my parents to end their marriage with 4
children at home. At this point in my adult life, I was happily married and my husband was a pastor in
Muskegon, Michigan. I felt I had a pretty decent relationship with my dad and did not bother to think
about my childhood. That would change if one of my sisters brought up the subject and then I would
jump on the bandwagon of “woe is me”!!!
One morning, as I was doing my devotions, the Lord broke my heart and said, “You need to deal with
your bitterness”. I sat in my chair and began to reason with the Lord. I said, “Lord, you know about my
childhood, you know it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t do anything wrong”. The Lord told me to take care of it
NOW!!! I literally began shaking and had tears streaming down my face. After asking God to forgive me
of my bitterness, I picked up the phone and called my dad. I said, “Dad, this is Kim, I need to tell you
something. I have been bitter against you for years and I am sorry, will you please forgive me”? I did
not go into detail of everything that bothered me, I simply confessed my sin towards him & asked for his
forgiveness. You see, this was MY sin, not my dad’s. I was the one who was wrong. I had allowed this
cancer to grow and fester in me. Of course he said, “I forgive you”, and we finished our conversation
and I hung up the phone. I cannot tell you the relief I felt. The ton of bricks that were pressing down
were removed from off of my back. I have had the best relationship with my dad since that phone call.
I have no more anger and hurt and I look at my childhood in a total different way. The truth is, the Lord
gave me the childhood that He wanted me to have. He knew everything that I would have to deal with
and He knew who my mom and dad were going to be, long before I discovered America. I am thankful
for that.
As I write this devotion, my dad is on his death bed. He will probably be gone before this gets shared.
Prying the root of bitterness out of my heart was one of the very best things I have ever done. I can look
back on memories with my dad, and I truly have a smile on my heart.
Dear lady friend, please search your heart and see if you have the root of bitterness. Please do not let it
stay there. You must take the action that I did and no matter how hard it is, pry out that root and get rid
of it once and for all. You do not need to rehash everything that happened to cause your bitterness, but
if you can go to that person and ask for forgiveness, then do it, do it today!!! Though it may be difficult,
you will not regret it!!
Ephesians 4:32b, …..Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.